Kind of TTC - 1st Month

9.27
After going back and forth on when we wanted to start trying for baby #2, we finally came to the conclusion that there was no better time than now, and it wouldn't hurt to just "kind of" try (by "kind of," I mean not paying attention to temperature or other fertility signs and just kind of DTD whenever). I probably would’ve wanted to start trying earlier, but I had no idea if it was even possible considering I hadn’t had my last period since October 2009 (because I breastfed Kellen for a year). Aaron and I played around with the idea of possibly trying to get pregnant even before getting my first post-pregnancy period, but that seemed merely impossible considering I had no idea when or if I was even fertile. I thought that maybe I’d be one of those people who just happened to be DTD at the right time (i.e. my first post-pregnancy ovulation), but no such luck. I finally got my first period on September 9th. When I first got that period, I thought for about ½ a day it could’ve been implantation spotting because it was just a smudge (gross) of brownish-red blood and I wasn‘t having my normal period bloat and cramps. I walked around all day wondering “could I be?” and kept going to the bathroom to check and see if there was any more blood. By the time that evening rolled around, the period got a little heavier and I actually had to use a tampon. My heart broke just a tiny bit at the thought of not being pregnant, but I was thankful that I’d finally gotten my period and could start working towards trying for BP#2.



My first period only lasted for 3 days, when in the past it averaged 5 days…so, I thought that maybe my whole lady-system might’ve changed a little bit from being pregnant, which caused me to jump start our DTD sessions. We started DTD on day 9, which was quite early for me seeing as I ovulated between days 17 and 19 way back in 2009 when we were trying for Kellen. There I go, already trying to "plan" it out. We’d planned on trying every other day for that entire week, but then life got in the way and we were only able to DTD 3 times that first week…I started to notice my more fertile CM around day 13 (I thought I wasn't going to pay attention!), so I was hoping that one of our 3 sessions would’ve led to the chance meeting of sperm and egg. I took an ovulation test every other day that same week (so much for 'not trying'), but nothing ever showed positive results, so I thought that maybe my CM was just off or that maybe I wasn’t timing the ovulation tests correctly. On day 16, I felt a sharp cramp in my uterus-area accompanied by some nausea, which was unusual, and thought that it could maybe be mittelschmerz. The next day I had some massive CM, so I was convinced that I was, in deed, ovulating. I took an ovulation test that same day, and it was negative. WTF?!? Why can’t I figure these damn tests out? So…I decided to start taking my temps, even though I swore to myself that I’d be a little more lax this time around (totally not how its turning out - I‘m just as obsessed as I was when we were trying to get pregnant with Kellen)!



The next morning my temp was 97.7, which was standard for my post-ovulation temp in the past. I had myself again convinced that I’d already ovulated. Next morning, 97.7. Okay, I ovulated. Next morning….97.2. WHAT?!? No way! We’re sitting on day 19 here…what the hell is going on? Okay - just in case I was getting this wrong, I managed to fit in a quick DTD morning session…(was totally late for work, btw, but totally worth it!) Seriously. Hoping tomorrow’s temp will be back up at 97.7 or higher. Fingers crossed…



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9.28
Temp was at 97.7 this morning. Relief. I don’t know what yesterday’s temp was about…hopefully just a fluke. I had some more egg-white-like CM today. Hmmmm…super confused, as I‘m pretty sure that post-ovulation your CM is supposed to dry up. Here are the explanations I’ve come up with in my head: a) I’m still ovulating and wasn’t really ovulating like I thought I was last week (and my temp is just high for another reason?); b) I’m done ovulating, and maybe yesterday’s dip was just a random dip or an implantation dip (highly unlikely, considering I hadn’t ovulated long enough ago to already have an implanted egg); c) I’m not ovulating at all, and my reproductive system is still out of whack, trying to figure itself out after being out of commission for nearly a year. Whatever it is that caused the temperature dip, the bigger issue is this: why the hell am I obsessing about this?? Quite honestly, when I’m at work or hanging out w/ my little dude, I don’t think about it. But the second I get a free moment to myself, off I go to the internet or to study my charts from 2 years ago (I know, I’m totally a crazy person who kept my BBT charts from when we were trying for Kellen). Seriously, I need to stop this crap and just let it happen. But me, totally OCD-crazy-A-type personality lady…"just let it happen” is not really in my vocabulary. But I am trying. So…even though I really want to google “BBT charts with a leutal phase dip” right now, I’m going to resist the urge and just leave my computer. I swear.



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9.29
Proud to report that I, indeed, did not google my funky temp issue. Just going to let it be. Took my temperature this morning - 98.1. Interesting. Whatevs. Also had some more egg-white discharge. Maybe I’m completely misjudging my discharge, but what is this all about?
I’m officially on day 21 of my cycle. My cycles average around 28 days, so just one more week until I could possibly know if I got pregnant this month. I am already predicting that I am going to wake up anxious every morning starting later next week, wondering what my temperature will be. I will not test for pregnancy though until the 2nd week of October, because I don’t want to go through ½ a dozen pregnancy tests, freaking out and wondering “is that a really faint pink line? I swear I see a pink line…Aaron, do you see that line?” (My poor hubby, trying to sweetly break it to me that he does not see any hint of a line, knowing that I so badly want there to be a line.)



If I don’t get pregnant this month, I think we are going to wait to start trying again until December or January (even though I know it‘ll be really hard for me to wait 2 whole months). I did not qualify for any paid maternity leave when I had Kellen because of the date his birth fell on, so I’d like to try for a non-summer baby, since schools pretty much say “you’re on your own if you have a baby in the summer.” Now, I know that if I get pregnant this month, I would be having a baby mid-June, but I could totally handle that because I’d have a little over 10 weeks of summer to be home w/ my baby while still getting paid my regular salary. I wouldn’t have to even worry about non-paid maternity leave since I’ve chosen to spread my paychecks out over 12 months (as long as I’m there, teaching, during the 9 ½ months of my contract). So, we’ll see how it all turns out. Overall, though, my main stance is this: I’ll feel blessed and lucky to be able to have another healthy child, whatever time of year that happens. Summer baby, fall baby, winter baby, spring baby. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter.
Off to bed.





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9.30
This morning’s temp was 98.0. I think I’ve figured out what my funky 97.2 was about 4 days ago. I’d never heard of it before, but I guess it’s quite common. It’s called a “fallback rise”. In short, it’s when you have your thermal shift the day after ovulation, but then the next day the temperature drops, and then returns to the post-ovulation temperature the following day. It occurs because the estrogen level is still dropping, but the progesterone still hasn’t risen to its highest level, so the temperature fluctuates. Learning about this eased my mind some, so now I can quit worrying about why my temperature dropped.



Another thing I’ve noticed is that I continue to have EWCM - almost an entire week after ovulation. I have no idea if this is common, but I’m quite confused and questioning if I’ve really ovulated or if I just have some type of gross problem.



The countdown has already begun. I’m officially at day 22...just about one more week to wait before I can take a pregnancy test (if I don’t get my period first, obviously). Fingers crossed.





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10.8
I haven’t posted in a whole week because I’ve been so fricken busy and tired. Still been tracking my temps, though. Here’s the deal: 10/1 = 98; 10/2 = 98.4; 10/3 = 97.8; 10/4 = 98.1; 10/5 = 98.1; *my period was officially late on 10/6 = 98.5; 10/7 = 98.2; 10/8 = 98.5.



I’m sitting at day 30 in my cycle, when my cycles usually average out to 28 days. I’ve been feeling normal, for the most part, but have been having slight bouts of nausea and cramping. I keep thinking that my period has come, but then I run to the bathroom and its not there. I even had a bloody nose this morning, which sounds random that I’d even write about it, but the thing is…I NEVER get bloody noses. My first bloody nose ever was when I was pregnant, and I had them weekly during the first trimester of my pregnancy with Kellen. So it’s got me thinking…anywho, I don’t want to jump the gun because I know how disappointing it can be to get the BFN, so I’m going to wait it out just a couple more days, and if AF isn’t here by 10/9 or 10/10, I’ll take a pg test (I’ll be 4 - 5 days late at that point). Still keeping fingers crossed :)